As part of a growing list as I make my way towards being a fully-fledged Grumpy Old Man, I’m going to share with you some things that annoy me.
- People who don’t wait for you to get out of a lift before they start piling in.
- Apparently able-bodied persons who catch a lift up one floor, or down any less than two.
- People who sit in the right-hand lane on multi-lane roads, when they’re not overtaking, just pacing the person next to them.
- The police who don’t book these people (yes, it is illegal folks, on roads 80kmh and over), and instead are hiding up the road with a radar.
- People who can barely drive forwards, and insist on reverse-parking in busy carparks while apparently oblivious to the queue of cars reaching critical mass behind them.
- People who give one flash of the indicator as they settle into their new lane
- People who “taste-test” neighbouring lanes by dipping their wheels in to check them.
- Little yappy fluffy white dogs. Extra points for pink collars or bows.
- Incompetent overseas call centres. I don’t have so much of an issue that you’re saving costs by offshoring your call centre. It’s commercial reality; really, I get it. The language issues aren’t a problem for me in customer service centres; it’s when you’re dealing with glass-licking morons who have crap systems and are not empowered to, you know, give Customer Service, that I have a problem.
- Apple.
- Microsoft updates. How is it that I can often upgrade core parts of an operating system in Ubuntu (or Mint) without a restart and in 2 clicks and about 5 minutes, when with Windows it involves agreeing to a new 73-page EULA, 20 minutes and two restarts to update a media player?
- SMS spelling. It’s bad enough that an entire generation won’t be able to spell, but when I see communications from people who should know better that can’t find their way to typing all of the letters in “Thanks” (thx) in an email (no length restrictions there), that annoys me.
- Their, There, and They’re. Or more specifically, the fact that apparently 75% of the population now don’t know the difference. “Their” indicates possession (“Their house is in Melbourne”), “There” is a place (“I’m going over there”), and “They’re” is an abbreviation of “They are”. Not that hard folks.
- Brakes and Breaks. This one REALLY grates on me. It’s probably a little unhealthy actually. I’m involved in a couple of forums where motorbikes and cars are discussed, and I’ve lost count of the number of times I’ve seen Brakes (the things that stop your car/bike) referred to as “Breaks”. Every time I see it, I get a little twitch.
- Baby-, Child-On-Board signs/stickers. I really don’t give a shit who or what you have “on board.” And I don’t know why you feel the need to inform me that you sometimes carry a mini-human in there (although more often than not, they merely contain a vacant baby seat. Are they just using these signs to park in the “parents with prams” spots I wonder?). Although annoying, these signs also perform a useful service for other road users in warning of the aptitude of the driver, because invariably cars with these displayed are driven by people with truly appalling driving and observation skills.
- Ricers. Especially the shopping lists on the doors/front guard. And the park-bench spoilers on the back. Although that said, they’re usually more funny than annoying, especially the ones that have competing brands of the same product listed on their doors (ie. two brands of tyre), none of which are actually fitted to the car. Ricers can still be annoying too though, as well as funny.
- Poorly programmed ATMs. Which seems to be most of them. I’m talking about the ones that ask you if you want a receipt, you say “yes”, and then it tells you that it’s out of paper and you can’t have one. Or it asks you to enter an amount in multiples of $20 or $50 bills, then it scolds you because it’s out of 50’s and you need to enter an amount it can make up in 20s.
- Timewasters when you’re selling something. Ebay is the modern incarnation of this (non-payers), but there are still the tyre-kicking, joy-riding dickheads you have to deal with whenever you’re selling a motor vehicle.
- Real Estate agent open for inspection signs. Don’t businesses generally have to pay for the privilege of sticking advertising in public areas? Saturday mornings around here have the streets awash with signs on every corner nature strip, anywhere up to 6 or 7 of them fighting for space.
- Credit card thieves. My card’s been cancelled because I used an EFT machine that had been compromised, and I have to wait another week for my new card. Bastards.
That was therapeutic. If you made it this far, you’re doing well (feel free to put this on your list!).
Part one in a series length yet to be determined. And like a true Grumpy Old Man, I’ll probably keep repeating myself too.
